Anamatic by Callum Brown

Here you can find the anamatic I made, I wanted some shots to carry on for as long as I coul dmake them, I wanted to convey the loneliness and boredom with everything that I was feeling, and I wanted to give the audience enough time to take in what they were seeing, and really start to think about what is happening. The sound is from the Shame motion picture soundtrack, we are currently in contact with a musician to supply an original soundtrack, however we have asked it to be close to this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBbKE0bLlgs

Feedback

At the latest crit session, we showed our films and received feedback from the class,  my film was complete besides the end credits sequence. I showed it and had a reaction I was happy with, the class had no criticisms to make despite being more vocal than our usual sessions. My tutor said the lens flares resemble a J.J Abrams movie, which I think means there were alot, which I'm guessing is a bad thing, but I was proud of the fact that I managed to acquire artificial lens flares, and that it resembles a hollywood director I love, however I listened to the advice and made the arc reactor lens flare smaller, I made a version with and without and asked my friends what they thought. They could seem to tell the difference of what I had done but when I pointed it out there was a mixed reaction. I decided to compromise and make it midway between the two versions I showed.

The next piece of advice was to finish/ start the end credits sequence, which I have done and a member of the course said he thinks its the best credits on any of the films this year, which makes me happy. I used gag-reel footage to slide in with the actors names by using the scale and pen tool to fit them all in a few seconds with some cheesy music.

 The last piece of criticism I had a problem with, it was that next time I should use professional actors. Now I only had two actors, one was myself, and the other was Ozzy, who I thought was fantastic personally. I am not an actor and have no-intent of being one, however I had to find people who resembled the characters, which left me and my brother, however he was far to swamped with the amount he had taken on for his own film, so I did it myself (also I had to make the arm prop to fit an arm and I built it on myself as I made it so it left little choice). None of this bothered me, what did is that everyone else was reminded that this is a VFX module and thats what we will be marked on, and a member of the class skipped the whole production stage (which I know me and alot of people slaved over, booking put equipment slugging it up a valley before filming in high winds and freezing tempratures) and used stock footage, and wasn't criticised for it, which is fine by me, I don't mind but I was just frustrated that we weren't being criticised equally, if I had used actual Iron Man film footage with Robert Downey Jr and Sir Ben Kingsley and added my own VFX my acting would not have been a problem and my film would be a much higher quality, however I thought following all stages of film production was necessary. The criticism was true, My acting is not great, but surely if I get called up on that as a let down for my film, someone who skipped that whole stage should also be called on it? I realise the mistake I am making is comparing my film to another classmates, and in fact I should just be focusing on making my film as good as possible. and taking the Crit on board to fix in this final week, as it is not something I can change now I will take on board for the future.

Storyboards by Callum Brown

Here I created the storyboards for the film, there are 129 storyboards altogether, for the next step I will make these into an anamatic. I considered alot when creating these, without dialogue the shot I chose were crucial to the storytelling, if I got it wrong the film maybe hard to understand. I need to convey alot within each shot, each shot tells its own story, so this process was very difficult and took me alot of time in order to make sure I thought about it and drew them correctly.

Audio Consideration: Harry Escott

By Meg Sugden and Stuart Brown  

This piece has no dialog and this is for the better. The soft, long tones in the music that slowly build up throughout the duration of the song give an attention filled, yet relaxing and very emotional atmosphere. The song somehow allows audience to relate to the emotions of the character on screen and the slow tapping beat feels like the characters heart beat. This piece in our opinion is the strongest and most suitable for our needs and is in all honesty some of the most touching and atmospheric music we had ever heard.

Responsive Audio Consideration by Meg Sugden and Stuart Brown

The Fray 'Uncertainty'
Uncertainly by The Fray strikes me as clearly being about depression, whether this is about self harm, drug abuse, escapism in any way or just a notion of being in a very dark mental state, the lyrics seem to reflect the uncertainty of ever getting out of that dark place.

'Uncertainty is killing me
And I'm certainly not asleep
Maybe I've gone far too deep
Maybe I'm just far too weak
And that's the last place
I want to be the last place'

The beginning of this verse starts with the idea of there being no promise of escaping this mental state and though the subject is not asleep it seems they rather would be, much like our character.'Going far too deep,' I feel reflects there plunge into depression and the extent of their mental and physical wounds, and being 'just far too weak,' could show that the character is not emotionally strong enough to carry on, and even if they were can't be bothered to try because there life has almost become not worth living. The last two lines reflect that this lowest point of complementing suicide and not having the strength to overcome the idea makes the subject disappointed in themselves, as this low point of even thinking about it reminds them of what there life used to be and this point seems lower than death.

'And there is so much we don't know
So we love and we hope that it holds'

This short chorus seems to display the fact that nobody knows how there life will pan out, especially not this person, and the fact that people love in hope that it lasts seems a pain not worth going through. So the notion of suicide is supported by the fact that even the best things in life are sometimes not worth them being taken away.

'Thousands were lost, maybe more
The question remains, what is this for?
Maybe it came unexpected
Maybe it came unprotected
And that's the last place
I want to be the last place.'

The first two lines show to us that the notion of self harm and suicide loses so many lives and seems to not be something dealt with enough. Many people don't understand why people do it, and it's often hard to describe to someone who doesn't understand and many people feel as if it's their life so it's their right. This epidemic as well as having an effect on the world, has largely overtaken our characters life. He wasn't prepared for this, as many people and families aren't, and by'unprotected' I think these lyrics tell that there isn't enough ways for suffers to get help, and often people of all generations are unaware of how to deal with this, whether its happening to them or someone close.

'And there is so much we don't know
So we love and we hope that it holds
Either we say or we show
So I'm going to fight for my own.'

The second half of this shows the sufferers decisions for escape, either tell someone or show someone, if nobody knows there suffering, there unlikely to receive help. The last line shows that this person, much like our own, chose not to say and rather attempt to fight through this alone.

'I'm holding on until the last
I'm holding on until there's nothing left
I'm holding on until the last
I'm holding on until there's nothing left.'

'I'm holding on until the last' we feel is made more touching as the last lyric 'breath' cannot be said as they may not have the strength to admit their seemingly unavoidable fate. Or it could be interpreted that holding onto the last could mean he's not sure what the last thing he does will be, but seems certain that something will have such an effect that suicide will be immediate. The second line seems to tell that although this character is striving to survive, he's walking a downhill easy walk to darkness, and the walk up seems an impossible steepness. So though he will continue his life, scaring his body, eventually there is no way up and he will be no more.

We believe this song tells a story of someone fighting a battle alone, resulting in failure; suicide, and that sufferers over this should find no shame in seeking help as a journey would be easier and would be able to find peaceful salvation in this life and not just the next.

Responsive Audio Consideration by Meg Sugden and Stuart Brown

Johnny Cash 'Hurt'
Originally written by Nine inch nails artist Trent Reznor about heroin and Self harm, Cash's cover displayed an incredible depth and new meaning to the film due to his video, which won numerous awards. His shows flashbacks of his life and seems to be about growing old and the loneliness and pain in the ageing body that comes with it. Cash's wife died shortly after the filming (of which she appeared) and Cash just seven months after filming wrapped.

This relates to the subject that we are going to look at well and requires little words to describe why. Though its about self harm and drug addiction, our film entails mainly self harm but the overall subject would be escapism through this, also drugs and sex.

'I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything'

These lyrics quite obviously state within the first line that its about self harm, with the second line describing the need to feel something when you feel so numb and depressed. The sting and adrenaline focus' the brain to something else and distracts the mind from the mental pain the sufferer is feeling. Your trying to numb the mental pain but memories still linger and everything is unwillingly remembered. There is obviously talk about heroin here and although our character never used this substance, there was difference drug abuse involved and feels this still allows it to relate.

'What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt'


The chorus begins with self loathing and disappointment as he misses his best friend and blames himself, which reminds him that other aspects and people in his life have made him feel the same, making him feel alone and abandoned in this depressed state of mind. Then the second half seems to display the fact that if he were to die, he would give everything he owns to those he loves, even if it isn't a lot. He doesn't want to involve anyone else in his life, as it would feel unfair to drag someone into his current life or these secrets he keeping as it would only hurt someone else who cares about him. It's his addiction and he feels he wouldn't be able to stop this mechanism he's learnt, as for him it's the only way to live. 

'I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear

You are someone else
I am still right here'

The crown of thorns he wears would resemble the pain he is putting upon himself and his liars chair is the fact he keeps it a secret from even those closest to him. His thoughts cannot be change, his memories cannot be erased and because they cannot be repaired he avoids them and distracts his mind through escapism. He hopes through time he will get better and that his emotions will fade, though he hopes, the reality seems extremely unlikely. The final two lines are again referring to his best friend, his brother, who now spends less time around him. He feels he's still there simply waiting his return.

'If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way'

This last part to the song could be interpreted in two different ways. The first being the idea of moving away to start afresh and taking precautions to never feeling this way again, and positive attitude that would escape this way of life. The second being the darker route, death. Suicide would enable the sufferer to start again away from everything he knows and in perfect peace, which in this moment would be heaven even if there is no such thing. 

Responsive Audio Consideration by Meg Sugden and Stuart Brown

Damien Rice 'Nine Crimes'
Here we have selected the lyrics that we feel relate to our story in this song, though this might not be the intentional subject matter, the words can be associated to what our character went through.

'Leave me out without the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse'

The first line would show in a way self hatred, he doesn't feel like he's worth anything and if were to be thrown away, like rubbish, no one would miss him or notice that he's gone. This new chapter in his life about self harm feels like it's not who he is, but it's who he's become and it's not a person he's proud of. By thinking of another person, and the fact that he feels its the wrong kind of environment to be wanting another person next to him, whether its a love interest or his brother. It feels like self harm is a small crime and it's only afflicting himself as a victim so although its not hurting anyone else and he feels its his business and his business alone, he knows he's very lucky to have all that he does, he's know's he's better off than most people which is why he has no excuse to be so sad; but yet he is.

'Leave me out without the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
She's pulling me through
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse'

This section, although nearly identical to the first, has one different but major line change. 'She's pulling me through,' This section as is later in the song would also be later in our characters journey. He's found a saviour in a girlfriend, who does all she can to help him, and though it's hard to shrug his addiction, he feels there will be an end, and now he has such a perfect companion, he truly has no reason to be doing this anymore, and with the happier he gets, salvation can be reached. 

'Is that alright with you?

No.....'

This last section shows that though the lyric 'is that alright with you?' has been said often throughout the song, it has never required an answer, much like if his self harming only displays him as a victim. Why does he need anyone else's opinion or control over it? But with the last 'no' at the end, its like in his saviour he's finally found an opinion that he cares for and that he wishes to be better for this person. By her saying no, it essentially reflects the beginning of the end of this dark chapter of his life.

Responsive Audio Consideration by Meg Sugden and Stuart Brown

Bruce Springsteen 'The Wrestler'

The first song that we wanted to look at was Bruce Springsteen's song 'The Wrestler', it is a beautiful song that explains the relationship between Springsteen and the lead actor Mickey Rourke in the film. It is an interesting song that relates well to the events that take place in the film like when the lyrics state 'If you've ever seen a one trick pony then you've seen me', it relates to the fact Rourke's character has a heart condition that means he's forced to quit wrestling, so what's the point in a wrestler that can't wrestle? Another line of lyrics 'My only faith's in the broken bones and bruises I display' shows that the only place he wants to be is in the ring as it's the only place that understands him truly and even though he's been physically hurt, during the fight he is not been emotionally hurt like he does when he's outside the ring.

This relates to the subject that we are going to look at well as many of the lyrics seem to tell the story of our character also. 'Then you've seen me, I always leave with less than I had before, Then you've seen me, bet I can make you smile when the blood, it hits the floor, Tell me, friend, can you ask for anything more?' These lyrics could be interpreted as a character (like ours) who was once very happy but whenever looks for comfort seems to loose more. But this character is still there for his friends and although feels detached from reality still feel the need to make his friends happy and look after then when they are sad, even though his current situation is far worse.

These next lyrics also strongly remind me of that characters mental state during his depression,'These things that have comforted me, I drive away, This place that is my home I cannot stay, My only faith's in the broken bones and bruises I display.' In this way the lyrics show that even though he didn't see his brother as much the fact that he is self harming because of it leads him to believe that its driving him away further and this seems to be a vicious circle. It also creates a guilt for doing this in a family home and he doesn't want to be caught or have them see him in this state, which increases his need to move out and be out of the house more. This also shows that he believes his future and constant coping mechanism is the escaping self harming, just rather than broken bones and bruises its blood and scars. But it could also be interpreted mentally. By this I mean that his way of thinking, though it's self hating seems to be something that cannot change and if it continues like this, though he may be down at least his friends and family remain happy, as long as they don't know his own suffering.

Post

During Post production I came across many difficulties. Firstly the natural lens flares in after effects simply wouldn't do, it has to be artificial. I had a go at creating my own by following tutorials on YouTube but they didn't look as good as I would want them to be, so instead I downloaded an artificial lens flare plug in. I then customised these flares until I found something I liked. The next issue I had was the green screen, although I had tested it previously I wasn't getting a look I was entirely happy with, mostly I think due to shadows that should be on the arm, but weren't due to moving it for the green screen, so I decided to use another shot I had taken for back-up, and pen around the arm, then key frame it to fly. I then created a shadow by duplicating the layer and adjusting firstly the exposure, then the opacity, then the feathering. However I still had a problem, as the arm is supposed fly off the table, the shadow obviously did not follow the laws of physics, so I then had to go through adjusting the both shadows (one on the table, one on the floor) by the mask frame by frame. I also made the mistake of rendering our the footage with the arc reactor lens flare on and working over it (as my computer was lagging.) however I failed to foresee the problem, as I composed the arm on the image it appeared above the lens flare, so I had to create the same lens flare again, and mask it out so it appeared over the composed arm. I also had alot of trouble tracking the movements of the lights so I could add lens flares, the track matte would jump around the screen alot and loose the point of origin, so I ended up having to keyframe alot of it myself.

Script, draft 2 by Callum Brown

X walks into his old room, its stone grey, there’s not much about, pan around to the wall of mirrors, he catches a glimpse of himself, he walks to his reflection. His face tells a tale, he blinks slowly and clenches his teeth, we see the brief pain. Pan down and see scars on the body he runs his fingers down them and closes his eyes.

Opening credits, pan over old photos of two young boys growing up together, rip one out and let the paper fall into darkness.

We track him in the dark, walking into town, his friends greet him outside, smoking, he hesitates before taking the cigarette and joins them. He breathes it out.

Opening fade, We see him on a train staring at the sky as it passes by, he looks at it unsure, confused almost, we see a two shot, he looks around, the train is empty, he’s shaking and holds his own hand. Before taking out his journal, as he flicks through the pages he gets a paper cut, he looks at it an wipes the blood away, he’s stopped shaking. He opens the cut and we see more blood pore out, and run down his finger.

We see him in a park, there are a few people smoking, the girl next to him is wearing his coat, he’s smoking a joint, they share a weed kiss. The screen losses focus a few times.

Cut to him in a doctor’s waiting room, two shot, his head down, we see a woman and child looking at him over his shoulder, he turns his head and the woman kisses her child and looks away.  He looks confused and turns back looking at the prescription in his hand, called up and we se the doctor put citalopram on the counter, his breathing is shaky, upset, he cracks a false smile and takes it.

Two shot, he does the dishes but stops to hold himself up over the sink, we see his face looking down, and he lightly clenches his teeth, his breathing shaky, he closes his eyes.

Cut to house party, he wanders through, he is joined by friends, he downs shots and watches as people dance, a woman smiles at him, she walks to him, pulling his arm asking him to dance, he stays put, refuses politely, she looks back to him as she goes to dance, he nods. Cut back to him in his bathroom, clenching a Stanley knife. . Cut back to the party, He half walks down a corridor and leans on it, she lightly pushes him so his back is against it, her hand on his chest, he masks the pain, pulling her hand away and distracting her with a kiss, she unbuttons his shirt and he takes hand, stopping her, Cut back to him in his room, he presses the knife against his skin. He closes his eyes. Cut back to the party, she smiles and unbuttons his shirt, seeing his wounds, she looks up at him confused, he looks embarrassed she touches his face, Cut back to him with blood on his arms, tears on his cheeks. Cut back to the party, he leaves her standing alone, taking a bottle of vodka with him.

Cut back, we see him alone in the bathroom, knife pressed to his skin, waiting, deep, calm breathes, he pulls away, the flesh is white before the blood fills the gap and runs down his skin, Cut away as we see him walking back alone, in the rain drinking, barely walking he stumbles down, lying on the ground we see him breathing, his eyes flicker and close. Cut back, he has a shaky fast exhale and repeats the action, he kisses a girl in a nightclub, holding her shoulder like its protection. Cut back, he cuts again until his torso is covered, he places the knife on his bicep and pulls downwards slowly, he tenses his arm and screams. Cut away to him outside a pub, someone grabs his shoulder, he pushes it away and they punch him, and again in the gut, and kick him whist he’s down. We start up again at him in in the bathroom, soaked in blood, knife in hand, his wrists are bleeding, his eyes wide in shock.

We see him standing with people in college, he looks worse than usual, paler, darker eyes, cuts on his neck, he covers them with a scarf as he joins a circle of people talking, there’s a girl opposite looking at him, she smiles, shy, burying herself behind layers of clothes, he smiles back.  She turns and signs a piece of paper before leaving, he signs the paper and follows her, pushing past people and trying to keep track of her, he speeds up and exits the building looking around for her but he cant see her. We see him enter a train station, following him through as he gets to the platform, he stands by the edge, his feet tipping back and forth, looking down at the tracks, and where they lead in the distance.

Cut back to him in his room, looking at his scars, he looks up teary, he lightly closes his eyes and the woman he saw in the street enters, she puts her arm round him and kisses him on the cheek, their head rub together. Fade to black.

On Set

On set we had many things to deal with, but firstly I briefed my team on the risk assessment, fire exits, duck-tape down wires ect. But there was still alot to do, for instance, we had to get someone to move the chairs back, we then had to create the set using various props. We also needed somebody to create the right lighting using the control panel, we also had to set up all the tracking equipment and lights on stands. I had the storyboards and script on set to make everything easier. The process was fairly easy, but I must admit that was largely due to a fantastic crew and cast, who delivered their jobs very professionally. I worked closely with the camera man to get the angles and tone I wanted, which was difficult as I also played the lead part, but it was not as hard as I had anticipated.

Testing

I've recently made some testing, using the lens flare pre-sets in After Effects, I also created the lasers entirely in After Effects using a mix of Effect-Generate-Beam, and Effect-Generate-LensFlare. My biggest issue with this testing is that the lens flares are natural lens flares rather than artificial ones, this is something I will fix for my final film. I followed you tube tutorials on how to create these effects and besides the fact that they should be artificial I am happy with the result, I found it difficult changing the opacity and strength of the effects as I turn around and place my arm in front of the arc reactor, but I am happy with how it has turned out, I got the sound from a free youtube video also. This is my test - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iGHx03UPXc

Concept art by Stuart Brown

Looking at the mood boards, I produced four drawings that reflect the characters costume at this period in time. This was to be as truthful as possible and use the same clothes if possible to film with. Having photographic reference of what the character looked like makes concept art a little redundant, but I thought at least head to toe full body shots can be seen here, but dressing up the actor could have done equally as well.  I feel when we are being so honest to the truth the creative aspect of creating characters and costume is ruled out, as they are real and existed, and therefore can not be originally created.

Script by Callum Brown

X walks into his old room, its stone grey, there’s not much about, pan around to the wall of mirrors, he catches a glimpse of himself, he walks to his reflection. His face tells a tale, he blinks slowly and clenches his teeth, we see the brief pain. Pan down and see scars on the body he runs his fingers down them and closes his eyes.

Opening credits, pan over old photos of two young boys growing up together, rip one out and let the paper fall into darkness. We see x knelt in the darkness, looking up at the spotlight.  He tries to get up and sees the blood on his hands, he falls back down, he tries to step up again and we see blood seep through his vest and he falls back to his knees, he tries again and his knee buckles under, he falls down, and stays there as we track outwards until the screen is filled with darkness.

We track him in the dark, walking into town, two shot, his friends greet him outside, smoking, he hesitates before taking the cigarette and joins them. He breathes it out, we see him in a park, there are a few people smoking, the girl next to him is wearing his coat, he’s smoking a joint, they share a weed kiss. The screen losses focus a few times. Fade to black.

Opening fade, We see him on a train staring at the sky as it passes by, he looks at it unsure, confused almost, we see a two shot, he looks around, the train is empty, he’s shaking and holds his own hand. Before taking out his journal, as he flicks through the pages he gets a paper cut, he looks at it an wipes the blood away, he’s stopped shaking. He opens the cut and we see more blood pore out, and run down his finger.

Cut to him in a doctor’s waiting room, two shot, his head down, we see a woman and child looking at him over his shoulder, he turns his head and the woman kisses her child and looks away.  He looks confused and turns back looking at the prescription in his hand, called up and we se the doctor put citalopram on the counter, his breathing is shaky, upset, he cracks a false smile and takes it.

Two shot, he does the dishes but stops to hold himself up over the sink, we see his face looking down, and he lightly clenches his teeth, his breathing shaky, he lightly blinks. He walks out. Cut to house party, he wanders through, he is joined by friends, he downs shots and watches as people dance, a woman smiles at him, she walks to him, pulling his arm asking him to dance, he stays put, refuses politely, she looks back to him as she goes to dance, he nods. Cut back to him in his bedroom, knelt in front of the mirror, the version in the mirror lowers its head and begins cutting itself. Cut back to the party, He half walks down a corridor and leans on it, she lightly pushes him so his back is against it, her hand on his chest, he masks the pain, they kiss, she unbuttons his shirt and he takes hand, stopping her, Cut back to him in his room, we pan around to see him finding himself doing the act. He closes his eyes. Cut back to the party, she smiles and unbuttons his shirt, seeing his wounds, she looks up at him confused, he looks embarrassed she touches his face, Cut back to him with blood on his arms, tears on his cheeks. Cut back to the party, he leaves her standing alone, taking a bottle of vodka with him. Two shot, We see him walking back alone, in the rain drinking, barely walking he stumbles down, lying on the ground we see him breathing, his eyes flicker as two people walk past him, his eyes close.

Two shot. We see him alone in the bathroom, knife pressed to his skin, waiting, deep, calm breathes, he pulls away, the flesh is white before the blood fills the gap and runs down his skin, he has a shaky fast exhale and repeats the action, until his torso is covered, he places the knife on his bicep and pulls downwards slowly, he tenses his arm and screams. We start up again at him crying in in the bathroom, soaked in blood, knife in hand. He’s on the phone, his wrists are bleeding, we see him trying to bandage up a huge leg wound, he cuts the sleeve of a shirt and ties it off. The blood soaks through.

He hobbles down the road in pain, with traffic beside him, he slows to halt holding his chest, he looks around and steps over the wall, and lands grasping the grass, falls back against the wall, pulling up the grass. We see blood soak through his vest, his breathing fast but slows as he stares at the sky. He closes his eyes.

We see him standing with people in college, he looks worse than usual, paler, darker eyes, cuts on his neck, he covers them with a scarf as he joins a circle of people talking, there’s a girl opposite looking at him, she smiles, shy, burying herself behind layers of clothes, he smiles back.  She turns and signs a piece of paper before leaving, he signs the paper and follows her, pushing past people and trying to keep track of her, he speeds up and exits the building looking around for her but he cant see her, so he starts walking back alone. He enters the train station, we follow him through and he gets to the platform, he stands by the edge, looking down at the tracks, and where they lead in the distance.

Cut back to him in his room, looking at his scars, he looks up teary, he lightly closes his eyes and the woman he saw in the street enters, she puts her arm round him and kisses him on the cheek, their head rub together. Fade to black.